Being married to my wife is the greatest earthly blessing of my life. Joy and I have been married for 14 wonderful years, and I simply can’t imagine life without her. I write this post with some sense of fear because I know that I’m not a perfect husband, though I want to grow in being a faithful husband for the rest of my life. While this short blog post won’t exhaust what it means to be a faithful husband, I offer the following thoughts for your consideration.
1. A faithful husband is a faithful follower of Christ. Above all else, a faithful husband learns from Christ how to love his wife because he knows how Christ has treated him. He understands that Jesus loves him, not because he is good, worthy, or obedient, but simply because He has chosen to love him. A faithful husband’s heart has been conquered by the love of Christ, and he loves Christ because Christ has first loved him. So, he lives under the rule of Christ and keeps His good commandments because he has been bought with a price. And he loves his wife, not because she earns his love, but because Christ loves him, sets an example of love, and commands him to love his wife.
2. A faithful husband loves his wife. While this may seem obvious, it is far from obvious. Loving our wives does not mean enjoying how much they love us. When I do premarital counseling, I often ask couples, “What is it you love about the other person?” Sometimes the man says: “I love how she puts me first;” “I love how she makes me feel;” or “I love how she seems to really understand me.” But love for a wife is not loving how well she loves you. I once heard a husband say, “I finally figured out why I’m so happy in my marriage. My wife and I are both in love with me.” But a faithful husband loves his wife by serving her without demanding anything of her in return. He loves his wife by putting her needs first, not selfishly demanding that she meet his needs. She is not his servant or caretaker. She is his love. That means he works for her, not only outside the home, but in the home and in their relationship. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).