Scott Slayton – Five Areas in Which Husbands Must Grow

Like most things in life, marriages are not static. It may feel like there are times when we settle into comfortable seasons, but marriages aren’t like McDonalds’ chicken nuggets. If we ignore them for a week, they will not look the same when we come back. Every marriage is growing stronger or weakening. There is no exception.

Marriages grow because the husband and wife are growing. Our marriages don’t exist in some strange limbo where they aren’t affected by our character, spiritual growth, and emotional maturity.

Husbands Must Grow in Their Walk with Jesus

A man’s walk with King Jesus sets the direction for everything else in his life. It does not guarantee that you will have a great marriage, but it will be the foundation upon which all of your growth will be built. When you have a growing walk with Jesus, you will be actively putting to death. Your sin is not only a dishonor to your Lord and a hindrance to your walk, but it also has negative consequences in your marriage. Therefore, a growing Christian man repents and seeks to cut the things out of his life that don’t look like Jesus.

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George Swinnock – A Husband’s Prayer

I pray that my love to my wife may be like Christ’s to His church, as well in its goodness as in its greatness; I mean, that my chiefest endeavor may be that she may be sanctified and cleansed and at last be presented to the blessed and beautiful bridegroom, a gracious and glorious spouse without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

Oh, how industriously did my Redeemer endeavor His church’s renovation and sanctity! How affectionately doth He beseech her to be holy! How fervently doth He beg of His Father to make her holy! How willingly did He broach His heart and pour out His blood to wash her from her unholiness! How plentifully doth He pour down His Spirit to work her to holiness! His birth was that she might be born again, and born holy; His life was to set her a copy of holiness; His death was to purchase for her a new stock of holiness. He gave Himself for her that He might redeem her from all iniquity and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. His precepts, His prayers, His tears, His blood, His birth, His life, His death, His resurrection, His intercession are all for her holiness and purity. His name is called Jesus because He saves His people, not in, but from, their sins and unholiness. He doth not think Himself [complete] until His body [the church] be in heaven.

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Charles Spurgeon – The Master’s Example

Husbands, love your wives. Ephesians 5:25

What a golden example Christ gives to His disciples! There are few masters who could venture to say, “If you would practice my teaching, imitate my life.” But the life of Jesus is the exact transcript of perfect virtue, and therefore He can point to Himself as the paragon of holiness, as well as the teacher of it.

The Christian should take nothing short of Christ for his model. Under no circumstances ought we to be content unless we reflect the grace that was in Christ Jesus. Even as a husband, which is a relationship that the Christian sustains in common with the rest of men, he is to look upon Christ Jesus as being set before him as the picture, and he is to paint according to that copy. Christ Himself being the bridegroom of the church, the true Christian is to seek to be such a husband as Christ was to His spouse…Let the Christian then aspire to be like unto his Lord, Who is the Author and Finisher of his faith. And let him, as he runs the heavenly race, look unto Jesus and make the Apostle and High Priest of his profession (Heb. 3:1) his continual study, and aim to be changed into His image from glory unto glory (2 Cor 3:18).

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John Angell James – As Their Own Bodies

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Ephesians 5:28

man’s children are parts of himself; his wife is himself: “For they two shall be one flesh” (Eph 5:31). This is his duty and the measure of it too, which is so plain that, if he understands how he treats himself, there needs nothing be added concerning his demeanor towards her. For “what mighty care does he take of his body, and uses it with a delicate tenderness, and cares for it in all contingencies, and watches to keep it from all evils, and studies to make for it fair provisions, and is very often led by its inclinations and desires, and does never contradict its appetites but when they are evil, and then also not without some trouble and sorrow.” So, let a man love his wife as his own body.

Can it be necessary to apply the force of motives to produce an appropriate attention to such a duty? If so, I appeal to your sense of honor. Husbands, call to recollection the wakeful assiduities and the tender attentions by which you won the affection and the confidence of the woman, who forsook her father and her mother and the home of her childhood to find a resting place for her heart in your attachment. Will ye falsify the vows ye plighted and disappoint the hopes you raised?…That man has disgraced himself who furnishes just occasion to the partner of his days, to draw, with a sigh, a contrast between the affectionate attention she received as a lover and as a wife.

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Benjamin Palmer – The Force of Love

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Colossians 3:19

It is worthy of special notice that, in all the apostolic injunctions, the great duty enforced upon [the husband] is love. In addition to the testimony placed at the head of this chapter, the obligation is more fully expounded in the epistle to the Ephesians: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself…For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church…Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself” (Eph 5:25, 28-29, 33).

But is not love as much the duty of the wife? Nay, in our philosophy, we would presume to say that it chiefly falls upon her to be the exponent of its mighty power. It is with some surprise that we find it set home upon the conscience of the husband as his paramount obligation, and we cannot rest until we discover the ground of this discrimination…The command to love is clearly designed to comprehend the entire office of the husband with its distinct functions. Are we able to trace the wisdom of the word?

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John Angell James – As Christ Loved the Church

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:25

Observe the sublime and transcendently interesting1 fact that stands amidst the duties of domestic life, as stated by the apostle in the language quoted above, like the sun in the center of the planets — illuminating, impelling, and uniting them all. Every part of this most comprehensive and beautiful passage is inimitably striking. The design of the whole is to magnify Christ’s love to the church; [regarding] this, the moral condition of the church, previous to the transforming work of redeeming grace, is supposed to be that of loathsome impurity; yet, notwithstanding this, He exercises the most tender compassion for her welfare and is not repelled by excessive defilement.

To effect her redemption, [Jesus] does not merely employ the operations of His power and of His wisdom, but surrendered Himself into the hands of divine justice that, as a sacrifice of atonement, He might ransom the object of His regard at the price of His blood. [In this, He manifested] an affection stronger than death, and “which many waters cannot quench” (Song of Solomon 8:7). The ultimate design of this act of mysterious humiliation is to render her in some measure worthy of His regard and fit for that indissoluble union with Himself into which, as His illustrious bride, she was about to be received.

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Ezekiel Hopkins – The Responsibilities of Love

The duties of married persons are either special or common. Special are those, which are the duties only of one party to the other — either of the husband to the wife or the wife to the husband. Common are those, which belong to both and are to be mutually performed by both.

I shall first begin with those duties that belong to a husband towards his wife, and they are these:

(1) Conjugal love: Indeed, love is a beautiful ornament to all relations, but it is the foundation and first principle of this. It is love that ought at first to tie the marriage knot; and it is love alone that can afterwards make it easy. No other respect whatsoever can keep it from wringing and galling us. And, although lack of love cannot dissolve the bond, yet it doth [dissolve] the joy and comfort of a married state.

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D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones – A Christlike Love

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Ephesians 5:25

No husband is entitled to say that he is the head of the wife unless he loves his wife. He is not carrying out the Scriptural injunction unless he does so. These things go together. In other words, it is a manifestation of the Spirit; and the Holy Spirit not only gives power, but He gives love and discipline also. So, as the husband exercises his privilege as the head of the wife and the head of the family, he does so in this way. He is to be controlled always by love, and he is to be controlled by discipline. He must discipline himself. There may be the tendency to dictate, but he must not do so — “power, love, sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7). All that is implicit here in this great word love.

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Richard Steele – The Duties of Husbands and Wives

THE DUTIES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES

“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” — Ephesians 5:33

I. Introduction

Marriage is the foundation of all society, and so this topic is very important. Explaining marital duties to you is much easier than persuading you to do them. Conform your will to Scripture, not vice versa. Take Ephesians 5:33 to heart.

1. The Connection

“Nevertheless” is a transition from the spiritual reality of Christ’s relationship to the church. It either means that in spite of the unattainable ideal, strive to attain it, or because of the noble example, imitate it, in your relationship with your spouse.

2. The Direction

A. The universal obligation of it

“Let every one of you,” no matter how good you are or how bad your spouse. All husbands are entitled to their wives’ respect, whether they are wise or foolish, intelligent or slow, skillful or clumsy. All wives are entitled to their husbands’ love, whether beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, submissive or rebellious.

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John Piper – Men, Love and Lead Your Wives

Husbands, your wife is not your cook, maid, or personal babysitter. She is your wife, an heir of this world, and a future queen of the universe. In this message, Pastor John explains what it takes for a husband to lead his wife in a way that honors her and honors God.

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