John Piper – Husband, Lift Up Your Eyes: Letter to a Would-Be Adulterer

Dear Husband,

You may think I am ill-suited to counsel a young man on how to be faithful to his wife, because, in almost fifty years with my wife, I have never felt enticed to be romantic or to have sex with another woman. However, it might be worth probing whether this (perhaps unusual) fact has causes which are transferrable to you.

Let me clarify. It’s not as good as it sounds. My eyes are as magnetized toward excessive female skin as most men’s. I am not designed for beach evangelism. I find airports to be problematic enough. I have zero tolerance for nudity in films — or even suggestiveness (which rules out almost all of them). One reason (among many) is that any sexually charged image lodges itself in my mind, with regrettable effects.

To read the rest of John Piper’s article, click here.

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Tim Challies – Six Reasons Why Adultery Is Very Serious

A photo by Volkan Olmez.

Adultery is a serious matter. At least, it is a serious matter in the mind and heart of the God who created sex and marriage and who put wise boundaries on them both. But why? Why is adultery such a serious matter. Christopher Ash provides six reasons in his book Married for God and I am going to track with him as we go.

Adultery is a turning away from a promise. In the mind of the adulterer, the pursuit of another person is not first a turning away but a turning toward—a turning toward someone who is desirable and lovely. “I deserve him.” “She meets my needs.” “He understands me.” “She does the things my wife won’t.” But at heart, adultery is first and most significantly a turning away. It is a turning away from one to whom promises were made in the presence of witnesses. Most importantly, it is a forsaking of promises made in the presence of God and, in that way, a turning away from God himself.

Adultery leads the adulterer from security to chaos. Because the adulterer has turned away, he or she enters into a life of torn loyalties. “Once the promise is broken, the barrier is breached, the secure wall of marriage is torn down, all hell breaks loose. And an adulterer finds he or she has not after all exchanged one secure place (his marriage) for another secure place (the new home with the new partner). That is the illusion, but the reality is much different. Adulterers soon find they’ve entered a world in which unfaithfulness is the norm—after all, if one set of vows can be broken, why not another?” Even when the adulterer remains loyal to that new partner, there is still the divided life, the divided family, the divided memories. “To the adulterer, the grass seems so much greener the other side of the fence, but it isn’t nearly as green as it looks.” The adulterer’s actions lead away from the security of stability and into disorder.

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Mark Jones – Ashley Madison: Faithlessness

Mark Jones

Ashley. Madison.

Two words that will not be forgotten by millions of people for as long as they live.

Divorce lawyers in some cities are not even answering their phones.

Computer hackers are being celebrated and vindicated.

Millions of men and women are in a state of panic.

People are being blackmailed.

Josh Dugger is a self-admitted hypocrite.

And spouses and children of married couples are about to have their lives ruined.


Because almost 39 million people are anonymous members of the “Ashley Madison” website that allows affairs to be “easy” and “risk-free.” And that website was hacked, which has left millions exposed. As one article notes:

THE slogan of Ashley Madison, a website that arranges extramarital liaisons, is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Its home page shows a woman holding a finger to her lips. So much for promising to keep secrets. Last month a group of hackers called Impact Team stole the site’s user database and transaction history going back to 2007, and this week they released it online: more than 30m users’ names, addresses and personal details, along with GPS co-ordinates and sexual preferences.

People are paying to commit adultery. Oh, the sad irony.

Marital unfaithfulness is a serious, serious sin. It is never an isolated sin. Adultery strikes at almost every commandment, and in the case of Christians this sin is heinous, especially in the case of ministers. Besides breaking the first three commandments, the adulterer (7th commandment) is: a murderer (6th – hates his neighbour, spouse, children), thief (8th – steals what is not his), liar (9th), and coveter (10th). And when you commit that many sins, you’re likely to be found out sooner or later (Prov. 10:9).

Quite frankly, I don’t want to hear about love that is divorced from faithfulness because that type of love only leads to heartbreak sooner or later.

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Clint Archer – How to Avoid Getting Caught in Adultery


Like a premature unveiling of the picture of Dorian Gray, the hideous hypocrisy that lay discreetly stashed in the attic of AshleyMadison(dot)com’s online vault was unceremoniously exposed last week. scarlet letter

This outing of 28 million male and 5 million female adulterers has made a lot of people hot under the lipstick stained collar. Furtive liaisons that “weren’t hurting anybody” have now left a swathe of casualties in their wake. And now that their trust in the sanctity of Internet privacy has been shattered, these poor philanderers and home wreckers have to grow used to the scarlet letter on their reputation, now that everybody knows who they really are. What could they have done differently to avoid getting caught?

There is only one way to not get caught in adultery: don’t commit adultery.

Hebrews 4:13 And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

God’s observation of our lives has no blind spot.

But the Bible gives us practical wisdom on how to avoid committing adultery. Here are six suggestions from God’s word:

1. Meditate on the immediate consequences of being caught

There is no cold shower as effective as the picture of an infuriated husband, with a gun, banging on your door.

Prov. 6:34-35 For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge. He will accept no compensation; he will refuse though you multiply gifts.

Besides the peril of homicidal cuckolded husbands there are many equally sobering consequences to dread. The pain of loss your dalliances will bring are incalculable. Imagine losing your spouse to divorce, your children’s respect, your ministry, your friends’ support, and your reputation. Let these thoughts linger alongside the fantasies lurking in your mind. They might just be the wax you need to mute the sirens’ song of temptation.

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Dave Jenkins – Who is an Adulterer?

Matthew 5:27-30, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”

Jesus continues to unmask the self-righteous externalism typified by the scribes and Pharisees by showing that the only righteousness acceptable to God is purity of heart. Without that purity, the outward life makes no difference. God’s divine evaluation takes place in the heart. He judges the source and origin of sin, not its manifestation or lack of manifestation. 1st Samuel 16:7, “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Jesus’ second illustration of heart righteousness has to do with adultery and sexual sin in general. In verses 27-30 He focuses on the deed of adultery, the desire behind it, and the deliverance from it.

Matthew 5:27-28, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

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Dr. Albert Mohler – Adultery: When Law and Morality (used to) Agree

The Colorado legislature is considering the repeal of laws in the state that criminalize adultery or any act that would “promote sexual immorality.” According to Lynn Bartels of The Denver Post, the process of repeal is now well underway, with the House Judiciary Committee voting 8-3 to take adultery and sexual immorality out of the criminal code in Colorado.

Missing from the legislative debate, at least as reported in the media, is any acknowledgment of how such statutes entered the law books in the first place. Throughout most of human history, morality and law were united and in agreement when it came to the reality of adultery and the larger context of sexual immorality. Laws criminalizing adultery were adopted because the society believed that marriage was central to its own existence and flourishing, and that adultery represented a dagger struck at the heart of the society, as well as the heart of marriage.

Marriage was not considered merely a private arrangement. Every society regulates marriage, and most have adopted clear and punitive sanctions against adultery. But the moral and cultural revolutions of the past several decades have shifted the meaning of marriage from a public institution to a private contract.

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Steve Pixler – What’s Love Got to do With It?

A couple of days ago, I noticed that a friend of mine had “Liked” a picture on Instagram, which showed up in my Facebook feed. It was a snap of a text in support of gay marriage. I read the text, and it said something like, “I believe that if two people love each other, they should be able to get married.” My first thought was of a cartoon I saw a couple days earlier showing a pirate standing in front of a court requesting to marry his parrot. They were in love. The floating “heart” symbol gave it away. The judge was on his feet spluttering indignantly that this has gone too far.
That tickled me for some reason. You see, that is exactly where the gay marriage thing is headed. Already a fellow in Denmark (I think it was Denmark) has sued for the right to marry his dog, and no doubt there are cowboys everywhere wanting to marry their horse. I mean, think about it, a horse never gave a man near ’bout much trouble as a woman. And if love is the reason, then why not, I ask you, why not?

But love was never the reason. Love may be the result, but never the reason. And this is no attack on love. I love my wife dearly, more than life itself. And she loves me, too, bless her heart. It’s a beautiful thing, as the man sang. But that is not why we are married. We are married because the Creator of the universe commanded us, “Be fruitful and multiply, fill up the earth and subdue it. Take dominion over the sky, earth and sea.” That is why we are married.

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